Like Sand Through the Hourglass...
Months off work: 3
Days until returning to work: <1
Time spent with child: priceless
Okay, so maybe that doesn't fit the Visa ad completely, as months and days are not monetary values, but this summer has been great. The funny thing is, I'm not terribly sad that my maternity leave has come to an end. I'm looking forward to going back to work (at reduced hours) and contributing to society again. I like using my brain. I like giving and receiving knowledge. And I especially like the fact that my child will really never have to be in daycare.
I look back on the last 3 years, for that is how long we have lived in this area, and I really am in awe. I had wanted to move to Fargo, because I thought life would be easier there - that jobs would be easier to find - that things would move in the right direction for Chris and me. Then I look at what happened: the job from hell, depression from hell, fertility issues, questioning God, begging Chris to move back to the Cities, more job issues, constant money issues, more questioning God, bitterness...and then suddenly, it all went away. August 2005 - August 2006 was probably about the second worst year of my life. (We won't go into details about the worst year.) But in the blink of an eye, our prayers were finally answered, the pathway was made clear, and the questioning ceased.
I think about our jobs - we are truly blessed with the best jobs. I think I can easily say that Chris has his dream job, and my job maybe isn't my "dream" job, but it's pretty awesome, and I love it. I have fantastic coworkers, I work for a fantastic organization, and love what I do. We live in a great community with an amazing church and super people. We have a nice house. Our baby is healthy and adorable. Our marriage is continuing to grow and mature.
Now I feel like we've "settled." And I don't mean "settled" as in, we didn't get what we want so we "settled" for less. I mean "settled" as in, this is where we live, where our family will grow. Life has some consistency to it. Or maybe a better word is "constance." There is a certain constance to knowing that I have a great doctor I can trust, that I've been working the same job for a year and a half, that we have some established friendships, and maybe, that we are finally adults. At 33 and almost 31, you'd think I would have felt adultish before now, but with grad school and marrying in our mid and late 20's, moving, and having a 2 year job search for Chris, things have not felt grown up at all. In fact, it's felt quite juvenile.
But I'm happy to say that the juvenile feeling has come to an end for the most part, and I think I can view myself as an adult, a contributing member of civilized society. Like I can be taken seriously. I think life has a richness to it that it hasn't had before, and I would like to think that richness will only grow.
...So are the days of our lives....
Days until returning to work: <1
Time spent with child: priceless
Okay, so maybe that doesn't fit the Visa ad completely, as months and days are not monetary values, but this summer has been great. The funny thing is, I'm not terribly sad that my maternity leave has come to an end. I'm looking forward to going back to work (at reduced hours) and contributing to society again. I like using my brain. I like giving and receiving knowledge. And I especially like the fact that my child will really never have to be in daycare.
I look back on the last 3 years, for that is how long we have lived in this area, and I really am in awe. I had wanted to move to Fargo, because I thought life would be easier there - that jobs would be easier to find - that things would move in the right direction for Chris and me. Then I look at what happened: the job from hell, depression from hell, fertility issues, questioning God, begging Chris to move back to the Cities, more job issues, constant money issues, more questioning God, bitterness...and then suddenly, it all went away. August 2005 - August 2006 was probably about the second worst year of my life. (We won't go into details about the worst year.) But in the blink of an eye, our prayers were finally answered, the pathway was made clear, and the questioning ceased.
I think about our jobs - we are truly blessed with the best jobs. I think I can easily say that Chris has his dream job, and my job maybe isn't my "dream" job, but it's pretty awesome, and I love it. I have fantastic coworkers, I work for a fantastic organization, and love what I do. We live in a great community with an amazing church and super people. We have a nice house. Our baby is healthy and adorable. Our marriage is continuing to grow and mature.
Now I feel like we've "settled." And I don't mean "settled" as in, we didn't get what we want so we "settled" for less. I mean "settled" as in, this is where we live, where our family will grow. Life has some consistency to it. Or maybe a better word is "constance." There is a certain constance to knowing that I have a great doctor I can trust, that I've been working the same job for a year and a half, that we have some established friendships, and maybe, that we are finally adults. At 33 and almost 31, you'd think I would have felt adultish before now, but with grad school and marrying in our mid and late 20's, moving, and having a 2 year job search for Chris, things have not felt grown up at all. In fact, it's felt quite juvenile.
But I'm happy to say that the juvenile feeling has come to an end for the most part, and I think I can view myself as an adult, a contributing member of civilized society. Like I can be taken seriously. I think life has a richness to it that it hasn't had before, and I would like to think that richness will only grow.
...So are the days of our lives....
posted by Heather | 6:08 PM
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