Woes of the barely employed

So, I'm in a strange place in life. I work anywhere from 2-10 hours per week. I don't have to get up in the morning, except for Wednesday when I go to Bible Study Fellowship at 9:10am. This fact I greatly enjoy. But, it makes me feel worthless. So, here's the catch: when I was working full time, I wanted to be home. Now that I'm home, I wish I was working full time. It's a useless dichotomy. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I hate this fact! I know that working full time is really draining, unless you really love your job, and I know that staying home is not really satisfying because I'm not earning much money, and feel very unproductive. I'm actually afraid that I've become lazy. I pray that's not the case.

So, what does one do with oneself? Well, I email a lot, which I realize is a waste of time. I write in my blog, which is fun, but ultimately also a waste of time. I watch a little TV, but I'm sick of morning television, and afternoon television is even worse. I have been reading a lot lately (if you need a new book to read, I HIGHLY recommend "How Now Shall We Live" by Chuck Colson - it's excellent to the 10th power). Reading is rewarding. I go to Starbucks a lot, which is very nice, but also ultimately a waste of time and money. I do my Bible Study Fellowship lessons, which is very good, and when I do them at Starbucks, I can justify the $3.62 I spend on my grande iced non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte....

My mentor told me last week that I need to do some volunteer work. She's right, but I haven't taken any steps toward that yet.

I'm actually waiting for a job to happen, see, I've applied, with my current bosses, to be a licensed child placing agency with the State of North Dakota. This could be the best job in the world, I believe. But, it's taking FOREVER to get licensed! I sent our first application the first week of January, and it took six weeks for the State to return it for corrections. Now they've had it for another 5 or 6 weeks and we haven't heard anything yet. I must say this is very ridiculous and trying. However, I believe this will be highly worth the wait, so I'm trying to remember that. This fact is why I haven't sought out full time employment. The only problem would be if we're denied licensure, which I suppose is a possibility as well. I don't want to think about that!

So, here I sit, typing away. I think it's time to go be somewhat productive. Wish me luck.