Today - it's my birthday, oh yeah, it's my birthday!

That's right, folks, today I turn 29, on the 29th, which makes it my GOLDEN birthday. I think that the golden part entitles me to more presents.... :)

Birthdays in my family were always a big deal. There were always lots of parties, loads of presents, and special things done for that day. When I found out that the rest of the world doesn't get so excited about birthdays, I was shocked! I say that a birthday is just a good reason to celebrate and have a party or go out to eat or do something special for the birthdayee.

That said, I've requested a dinner at Monte's down town Fargo, but we'll have to see about that, since it's rather on the tres chere side (very expensive). (I miss French!!) But at the very least I'm sure it'll still be someplace good like Doolittles or Granite City. We're also having a party for lunch at the office. Someone decided on BLT's, which I think is slightly strange, but yummy, nonetheless. I'm sure there'll be cake and lots of yummy things.

I also have the entire morning off and am going to do exactly as I please, which will involve one or both of the following things: daytime TV and/or Starbucks. I think a girl deserves Starbucks on her Birthday, especially since she's fasted Starbucks for the whole LAST WEEK! (Aren't you proud of me?? I've been making my lattes at home, and since I started using 2% milk instead of skim, they're much better, much to my surprise).

I've also had an epiphany concerning my job situation, but I'll leave that for another post. For now I shall sing happy birthday in French....because I can.
Bon anniversaire a moi,
Bon anniversaire a moi,
Bon anniversaire a moi,
Bon anniversaire a moi!
(To me....I'm not self centered at all....)
Hee hee.

I think I need a 12 Step program

Several weeks ago, my friend, Erin, wrote about running away in her blog. She recounted a tale from her childhood about running from home. Anyway, I remembered that today, because that is how I feel. My week has been a blur so far, and it's only 1:00 on Wednesday. That means it's only HALF over. Kind of a depressing thought.

Then I think to myself, "Why is that a depressing thought?" I shouldn't WANT my week to be over, at least in a perfect world. I should be wanting to do my work, to earn money, and to be productive. But in all honesty, I really just look forward to Friday at 5:00, just like the rest of the world. And yes, I have lofty expectations for myself.

So, for today, I want to run away. I want to go shopping, or just home to watch daytime television and rot my brain, or maybe for a nice walk since it's sunny and cool out. I am going to the gym tonight to a Yoga class - it's called Yoga in Motion. I have yet to see what this class is all about. Hopefully I won't kill myself. I was watching the Food Network yesterday morning while I was getting ready for work, and they were having a weight loss challenge between 3 men, and because one of the men sustained an ankle injury, they had the men do yoga, instead of more high impact workouts. Anyway, they flashed a blurb across the screen that yoga burns 450 calories per hour. WHAT?! I just about fell over...now, obviously beginner yoga isn't going to burn that much, but more intense levels might. Who knows.

Speaking of yoga, I was demonstrating a pose to a coworker yesterday (don't ask) and of course, that's when everyone in the office decides it's time to walk by my desk. Yes, that's me, on the floor, doing yoga for you all to see... (It was the pose where you're on your side, and you balance yourself on your hand and your feet, so you look like an isoceles (I can't spell that word) triangle with the floor...NOT easy.

So, I'm wondering something about you, my readers and friends. When I have to get up and go to work each day, I have this pervasive sense of dread that permeates my being. It's a living thing inside of me, I swear. It makes me want to go to Starbucks, and it makes me think about food A LOT...and it makes me eat a lot. I know these are my "coping mechanisms," but I want them to stop, and there's little I have tried that works. I know that my mother has this same problem, and we all know that I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE MY MOTHER!!! (And I don't want any future daughters to have the problem, as well.) So, here I am, putting my feelers out - does anyone else experience this? I think there's more to it than just having to work, but I want to know what you think.

Well, that said, I'm going to finish off my diet Coke with a couple of M&M's...hee hee...

Paper mache geese and long armpit hair man OR Namaste, not so much

Yesterday I went to my first Yoga class at the YMCA. I was so excited - having done yoga at home in past years, I was looking forward to a more formal setting, where I would learn more correct positioning and all the different names each position has. It was great - everything I thought it would be, and more. They even said the "Ohmmmmmm," at the end, which I found slightly hilarious. But that's just me and my strange sense of humor. Anyway, at the end of the 75 minutes, my body was JELLO. J-E-L-L-O. My muscles were shaking and I had to walk slowly, because I couldn't move any fast than that!
After I went home and showered, it took a few hours for my muscles to return to normal. But, much to my dismay, they didn't return to normal in the way I had hoped. They decided to ache. A LOT. And when I say "ache," I mean, husband has to help me up the stairs, and it hurts to sit on the church pew, ache. I was afraid that during the night last night, my muscles would decide that whatever position I slept in would be the permanent position of my body for the rest of my life. So, I've spent the day being made fun of by my husband for walking like I'm 90. BUT! I'm going back! I'm going to keep doing yoga, because it was awesome. So there.

Also, I met Long Armpit Hair Man in my yoga class. He has the longest damn armpit hair I've ever seen in my life. I could have braided it. He was also showing off during the class, doing hand stands, and whatnot. Made me want to shoot death rays at him, which, I'm told, is counterintuitive to the whole notion of yoga. Energy, shmenergy.

And, I have a very large paper mache goose in my living room. Why, you may ask? Well, my dear husband is adding a new animal to his hunting repertoire: the goose. Apparently, to hunt goose you have to have many lifelike goose decoys, and husband is making them himself, out of glue and paper grocery bags, rather than spending anywhere from $15-$40 on a decoy. Frugal, yes, conducive to a clean livingroom, no. But, I will not bug him about this, because he doesn't really have any place else to do his little creations. (And when I say "little," the goose is nearly three feet long...)

We're really settling into our church. We went to the Sunday School breakfast this morning - the kick off before the sunday school year begins. Chris will be teaching senior high sunday school, and I will be attending the "newlyweds" sunday school class solo. It's my own fault. I volunteered him for the teaching gig without realizing that I'd have to go to SS all by myself if he was teaching. Bah. But, it shan't last forever. I'm also starting a recovery ministry at the church, that will officially begin in January. I spoke about it this morning and it felt really good to get up and present something that I'm doing, and have people listen to me and volunteer to help me. It was very validating to me as a person and as an adult. I think for those of us in our 20's, it doesn't really seem like we're in our 20's - that we're adults. I still feel 18 most days, and don't expect to be taken all that seriously all the time. But, I guess when you meet a group of people and they know you as a therapist, and you start doing therapisty things around them, they see you as an adult and a professional. Strange. Guess that was a bit of rambling there, but true for me, nonetheless.

Because of this recovery ministry, I finally got to read the entire Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr. I never realized how Christian it really is:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (This is where it traditionally ends). Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen, and amen.

The Double Monday

Lord, yesterday was a double-Monday. A double Monday is when you get a day off from work, but when you go back, it's worse than had you not had the day off to begin with. It's like taking vacation and going to Maui or whatnot, and then, upon your return, you realized that the vacation was just a mirage, that life still exists back in the real world, and no matter how hard you try, you can't get back to Maui for all the crap you have to deal with at work.

We were attending my nephew's first birthday party on Sunday afternoon. I was speaking with Suzanne's fiance, Harry, about coffee. His 14 year old son pipes up and says, "Coffee's good." And I said,"You're too young to drink coffee - I don't even care if you like the taste - you aren't allowed to drink coffee until you graduate from college and have to go out and get a real job." His dad (Harry) chimes in and says, "Yeah, once you start working and you realize you have to do this for the rest of your life, you start trying to do yourself in, each day." HA! I laughed out loud at that one - the kind of laugh where everything in the room stops and everyone stares at you. Yeah. But I think he kind of had a point there. The fact that one must work in order to survive is kind of stinky, even if you like your job, as I do. In fact, I like both my jobs, pretty much. The part-time receptionist gig is just fluff, and my real job is good, minus the anxiety and worry I experience from time to time. I always feel good after a session, for the most part. Maybe I'm just glad it's over!!!??? HA! AGAIN!

I was very crafty this weekend, which is very unlike me. However, I went out, bought myself a canvas and some paints and brushes and have begun painting a masterpiece to hang above our bed. I also did a couple pages of scrapbooking in my scrapbook of "Us." I made some homemade cards to send to my in-laws. And I made a purse. I'm very proud of this little bag. It was the easiest thing I've ever done in my life, and if my freaking digital camera would work, I'd take a picture of it and show it to you. Well, actually it's not finished yet, but when I get done, I'll try to post it.

Well, I believe I must be off, to ready myself for another day of doing myself in.