Come On Baby, Light My Fire

So we had a party at our house last night. About 8 firemen, a cop, and an ambulance showed up for it.

At about 10:15pm, Chris decided to light a fire in the basement fireplace (woodburning). This was the first fire we'd had since we moved in, as we didn't have any wood this winter. The wood he used was from the built-in closet he had torn out of the baby's room last weekend, which was fairly old and quite dry. The fire got hot quickly, and suddenly, we heard this "WHOOSH!" Like a rush of winds, up the chimney! Chris ran outside to see sparks shooting out the top of the chimney, and considering the fire was in the basement and the chimney exhales at the peak of the second floor roof, the fire must have been going pretty good in there.

It only took about 1.76 minutes for me to realize that we had better not gamble with this fire, as this is our new house and I didn't really want to have to find another place to live with the baby coming in 6 weeks! Chris threw some water on the fire in the fireplace and I quickly told him to call 911. The cop was at our house in less than a minute, and told us to get in our car and go down the block.

So, at about 10:45 pm, we watched as 2 fire engines, a fire truck, and an ambulance all pulled up in front of our house, lights and all. I can't remember if they had the sirens going or not.

Four guys got up on the roof and by that time - probably about 10-12 minutes after the fire had started, we were pretty sure it was already out. They stayed up there, monitoring for about 15 minutes. They took some stuff to throw down the chimney if need be, but they didn't have to use it.

The firemen did get our carpet dirty in a few places from their boots, as well as some dirt smudges on the walls, but there was no damage to the house from the fire. We were instructed to call our homeowners insurance right away as well. The whole situation was sort of embarassing, and really quite hilarious - I couldn't help but laugh at ourselves as we sat in our car, a half block away, watching all these fire engines pull up to our little house! The neighbors were in their driveways watching the show. Glad we could provide some Saturday night entertainment!!

The Thirties

I used to bemoan the fact that the time one goes through after college and throughout ones' Twenties is a strange and uncharted land. First there's the job issue, as in, you have to find one. Sometimes that goes well, other times it does not. Second, there's the fact that making friends can sometimes be a challenging feat. Since some people get married in their early twenties, and some not until their late twenties, this makes the friend situation awkward at times. Then there's the I-don't-want-to-face-the-fact-that-I'm-not-in-college-anymore syndrome. A good friend of mine had to break up with a man (boy) she dearly loved because he didn't work full time, spent the bulk of his free time going to Iowa Hawkeye football games, and felt the need to fraternize with his "buddies" more than her. Maybe a better title for this syndrome is, "I Don't Wanna Grow Up." Others of us continue on to grad school - a somewhat familiar place, as college is behind us, and we know how to do homework. Some people are traveling, some are dating, some are lost. It's a weird time.

I was looking forward to entering my Thirties because I thought some of the awkwardness would end. Now that I'm thirty and I'm married, we've both got jobs, we've got a house, and a baby on the way, but I'm finding that it's not without its foreignness. For instance: we love the town we live in, and we love our church family. They couldn't be better. But, because I'm the pastor's wife, I'm still trying to figure out the friend thing.

Here's the issue: I've always made friends very easily, but I've found this to be different since we moved to Fargo. (Case in point: I met some really great people when we first moved here, who are still my friends, but a weird thing happened after we moved here - I got really depressed, and it got worse and worse, so I sort of distanced myself from these people, in part because that depressed frame of mind makes me think that people don't want to be around me, and in part because I didn't want to be a drag. Then we switched churches, twice, and never really landed anywhere until last August - TWO years after moving here. So, precious relationship building time was lost because of not only my frame of mind, but also the fact that we kept meeting new people. There is another issue: because Chris and I are so vastly different, when we meet couples, I'll often get along really well with one or both of them, but he won't feel a connection, or he'll really like them, and I'll not feel the connection. Right now, in our church family, that hasn't been an issue, but I wonder if it would be if we weren't there as the pastor and his wife.) ANYWAY...

I find myself in a place today where I just want to sit down with a good friend over coffee and talk.... I used to do this almost weekly with my best friend, Kris, in the Cities. Plus, I'd see my friend Jolene on a fairly regular basis, and before she moved, my friend Dawn and I would get together whenever we could. These girls and I would talk about anything and everything from our husbands to God, from diets to how good the Sebastian Joe's Ice Cream was that day..., from sex to gardening. Life is weird right now, and I kind of want to hash it over with someone, have them sympathize with me, and then talk about how weird their life is! Do people not do this in this part of the country? Maybe not. Maybe I'm just a complainer?!?! (I hope not...)

The other, possibly bigger issue, is that as the pastor's wife, do I divulge personal information about myself and my husband to our friends/small group at church? If so, how much? Along with that, is the fact that while I'm not the youngest woman in our small group, I will have the youngest child. All the other kids are 5-13. Everybody's already out of the baby phase, and while it's nice to have women around who have some knowledge, I often like to find things out for myself, and not rely on someone else's previous experience. I don't know.

This is just a whole lot of confusing! You know what I REALLY want? A fricking margarita!!! Or a mojito. Or just a glass of wine. I don't know why I'm so interested in alcohol. Probably because I can't have any!

Possible topics of conversation (just to get them out of my mind for a while):
1. Dreams - what does one do when one has dreams for their life, but is 30 and having a baby for the first time? How does one integrate family and dreams?
2. Vacationing - I'd love to take a vacation this summer - not that it's like to happen.
3. Money - there are so many things I'd like to do with my life and I feel like I'm never going to be able to because of debt and the fact that I'm cutting back my hours after maternity leave and my own poor spending habits!
4. Marriage - does anybody else feel like ____ (insert whatever is going on)?
5. My own lack of motivation and how my husband fuels this lack.
6. Feeling like a conflicted soul most days of the week.

So, that was a lot of blabbering, but I don't care.

Cute Sayings from Husband

"You get the belly all day long, I don't get it very much."

"Stop running away with the belly!"

"Your belly is so cute."

...more to come.

Let's Not Screw This One Up, America

Marriage Breakdown Costs Taxpayers at Least $112 Billion a Year Reveals New StudyReveals staggering annual taxpayer costs for divorce and unwed childbearing

WASHINGTON, D.C., April 16, 2008 (LifeSiteNews.com) - In first-ever research, a new report quantifies a minimum $112 billion annual taxpayer cost from high rates of divorce and unmarried childbearing. It also identifies national, state and local costs which account for more than $1 trillion in the last decade.

The landmark scholarly study concludes that public concern about the decline of marriage need not be based only on the important negative consequences for child well-being or on moral concerns, as important as these concerns may be. High rates of family fragmentation impose extraordinary costs on taxpayers. Reducing these costs is a legitimate concern of government, policymakers, and legislators, as well as civic leaders and faith communities"The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-Ever Estimates for the Nation and All 50 States," was released on April 15th at the National Press Club by four policy and research groups - Institute for American Values, Georgia Family Council, Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, and Families Northwest."This study documents for the first time, that divorce and unwed childbearing - besides being bad for children - are also costing taxpayers a ton of money," said David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values. "Even a small improvement in the health of marriage in America would result in enormous savings to taxpayers," he continued. "For example, a 1 percent reduction in rates of family fragmentation would save taxpayers $1.1 billion."

"These costs are due to increased taxpayer expenditures for anti-poverty, criminal justice and education programs, and through lower levels of taxes paid by individuals whose adult productivity has been negatively affected by increased childhood poverty caused by family fragmentation," said principal investigator Ben Scafidi, Ph.D., economics professor at Georgia College & State University."Prior research shows that marriage lifts single mothers out of poverty and therefore reduces the need for costly social benefits," said Scafidi. "This new report shows that public concern about the decline of marriage need not be based only on 'moral' concerns, but that reducing high taxpayer costs of family fragmentation is a legitimate concern of government, policymakers and legislators, as well as community reformers and faith communities."

"This report now provides the basis for a national consensus that strengthening marriage is a legitimate policy concern," said Blankenhorn. "The report's numbers represent an extremely cautious estimate, a lower-bound figure, and have been vetted by a group of distinguished scholars and economists who have attached their names as advisors to this report.""These numbers represent real people and real suffering," said Randy Hicks, president of Georgia Family Council. "Both economic and human costs make family fragmentation a legitimate public concern.

Historically, Americans have resisted the impulse to surrender to negative and hurtful trends. We fight problems like racism, poverty and domestic violence because we understand that the stakes are high. And while we'll never eliminate divorce and unwed childbearing entirely, we can certainly be doing more to help marriages and families succeed."For a copy of the full study visit:http://www.americanvalues.org/pdf_dl.php?name=COFF

Scotcheroos

After a discussion on Wednesday night about one of my favorite desserts (Scotcheroos), I decided I wanted to make some today. So, when I was at the grocery store, I picked up a big jar of peanut butter, and some Rice Krispies. I was SURE that the recipe called for 1 cup of butter, 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of p.b., and 6 cups Rice Krispies. So, when I got home, I pulled out my recipe, which called for 1 cup of Karo syrup, not one cup of butter.

However, since I was SURE that I had made the Scotcheroos with 1 cup of butter, I decided, "Heck, I must have just changed up the recipe." And I commenced the operation.

I put everything in the pan and turned on the burner. I left my favorite yellow Tupperware spatula in the pan and ran downstairs for a minute to look for another recipe.

Apparently, I was gone longer than I thought.

When I returned upstairs, I found that my favorite yellow Tupperware spatula was melted to the bottom of the pan. Needless to say, 1 cup of butter, 1 cup of peanut butter, and 1 cup of sugar went in the garbage can. (A big thank you to Chris for taking care of the mess for me, and for offering to run to the grocery store for more ingredients.)

So, since I was intent upon having these Scotcheroos, I decided to try batch numero dos. 1 cup of butter, 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of p.b. Melt. Boil. Stir in 6 cups Rice Krispies. Transfer to pan. Hmm....these don't seem to be sticky in the least. Drat.

Apparently, I had NOT, in fact, made the Scotcheroos with 1 cup of butter previously.

New problem: no Karo syrup in the house.

Still bent on having these tasty treats upon which to munch, I took Chris up on his offer to run to the grocery store and get the Karo syrup. Thank you, dearie.

I guess the third time really is a charm.

Total items in garbage:
1 pound butter.
2 cups sugar.
2 cups peanut butter
6 cups Rice Krispies.

Total items in my tummy:
1 small Scotcheroo, sans chocolate topping.

Decisionless

Yes, that is I. Decisionless. I have not decided what to do about my blog. I really do enjoy the writing, as that is one of my favorite things to do. However, I have now found myself to have small bits of cyber-real estate in a few too many places....facebook, flickr (which I rarely use, but feel it will be mighty handy after BB comes), and of course, right here on blogger. I'd get rid of facebook, but I do get to see pictures and hear updates about friends that I probably wouldn't get to see or hear otherwise.

So, I'm still here, and maybe I'll figure out how to integrate this blog into my changing role in life. It shouldn't be too hard. Maybe I'll change the name to Mocha Momma!

I guess I'm going back to work in the fall. I'm both happy and sad about this. Actually, I'm surprisingly okay with it. I am cutting back my hours to 30, and my employer will allow me to work 18 hours in the office and the rest at home. I figure that's really not so bad. It's less than half time in the office, and I'm fairly okay with that. I still wish I could stay home full time, not that I don't like my job, but that I want to be home. But, who knows, maybe this will be the perfect balance of home and work. I do think I'd miss this particular job if I were no longer here.

We took our Childbirth Education class last Friday and Saturday. It was fairly informative - not that it was particularly new information, but that it was good to hear it in one long, cohesive blow. Tuesday we took Music Therapy Assisted Childbirth, and that was really helpful. I'm going to put together some CD's to accompany the different stages of labor. I'm thinking a little Berlioz Symphonie Fantastique, maybe some Shostakovich No. 5, and I'm sure I'll include Vivaldi's Four Seasons for relaxation purposes, especially Springtime. Next week is Car Seat Safety.

Funny things about pregnancy...everything I pick up with my hands immediately falls on the floor, which is a really bad thing, because it's not particularly easy to bend over and get it....Chris said he put his hand on my belly the other night when he came to bed (I was asleep) and as soon as he did, the baby kicked him....Baby gets the hiccups and it kind of feels like when your eyelid twitches - just this strange little ticking feeling; I always thought that my whole belly would bounce, the way people talk about it, but that's not the case for me. I feel kind of bad for the little thing - when I get the hiccups it hurts! The really funny thing about the baby getting the hiccups is that it happens because it's swallowing amniotic fluid.

Funny thing about blogging - I can think of extremely interesting things to write about when I'm in the car or when I'm somewhere nowhere near my computer, but when I'm sitting in front of the computer, I have nothing to say...

Maybe I'll have some licorice.