A few things have happened since my little diatribe of self-pity on Monday. I don't particularly like the self-pity mode. I don't think anyone really does.
First of all, I had a really fun time on Monday night with my Naughty Knitty friends. We covered a myriad of topics from fertility (a regular subject) to pooping, from doctors to in-laws. It was a very interesting evening. Much to my liking.
Then, Tuesday afternoon, I was completing my BSF study questions. The passage was Romans 8:28-39. The question asked my thoughts concerning why Paul included a passage from Psalm 44, and I just wasn't seeing it, so I started discussing the issue with a friend at work. We decided the passage had to do with suffering and trials and persecution. It was really a lightbulb moment for me that changed my view of my "situation." Instead of sitting here, blaming God or getting angry with God for not acting in my life, I'm realizing that there could be a very real form of "persecution" going on with my husband and myself as we send out our resumes which have Christian stuff all over them. It made me aware of a different way to look at my life and the events that are taking place, and mostly, to stop blaming God. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom. 8:38-39)
Next, I was offered a job last night that I never even applied for. I'm not going to say a lot yet, as I haven't decided if I'm going to take it or not. I'm definitely praying about it and making sure that I'm not just taking a job because it's a job, but that it's the right job for this time. It's a good job, though, and I'm seriously considering it.
In other news, I had my annual physical this morning. Going to the doctor has changed for me over the past few years. Being a mental health professional, I have an expertise of sorts when it comes to an area of knowledge. At the doctor's office, I don't have that expertise, although I do strive to make myself knowledgable and aware of different issues concerning women's health and reproductivity, both out of curiosity and necessity. So, it feels weird to be the person that people come to when they need answers concerning their relationships or their mental health or their children, and then be in the reverse position when I go to the doctor. It's really made me examine my attitude toward clients and how I come across to them. I even sent out a questionnaire last week asking all my clients from 2006 to give me feedback on how they felt about the services that I offered. While my doctor is very friendly and intelligent, I sometimes feel he answers my questions too quickly or passes over some of my thoughts. Having run into doctors and therapists who don't like their clients to be well-educated, I always wonder what he thinks of the fact that I'm researching the medication he prescribes for me, and am well aware of how long my luteal phase should be, etc. I suppose I could ask him...
I think that completes my ramblings for today. I have an afternoon of nothing to do ahead of me and a candy jar full of M&M's sitting right in front of me. This is not a good combination...
First of all, I had a really fun time on Monday night with my Naughty Knitty friends. We covered a myriad of topics from fertility (a regular subject) to pooping, from doctors to in-laws. It was a very interesting evening. Much to my liking.
Then, Tuesday afternoon, I was completing my BSF study questions. The passage was Romans 8:28-39. The question asked my thoughts concerning why Paul included a passage from Psalm 44, and I just wasn't seeing it, so I started discussing the issue with a friend at work. We decided the passage had to do with suffering and trials and persecution. It was really a lightbulb moment for me that changed my view of my "situation." Instead of sitting here, blaming God or getting angry with God for not acting in my life, I'm realizing that there could be a very real form of "persecution" going on with my husband and myself as we send out our resumes which have Christian stuff all over them. It made me aware of a different way to look at my life and the events that are taking place, and mostly, to stop blaming God. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom. 8:38-39)
Next, I was offered a job last night that I never even applied for. I'm not going to say a lot yet, as I haven't decided if I'm going to take it or not. I'm definitely praying about it and making sure that I'm not just taking a job because it's a job, but that it's the right job for this time. It's a good job, though, and I'm seriously considering it.
In other news, I had my annual physical this morning. Going to the doctor has changed for me over the past few years. Being a mental health professional, I have an expertise of sorts when it comes to an area of knowledge. At the doctor's office, I don't have that expertise, although I do strive to make myself knowledgable and aware of different issues concerning women's health and reproductivity, both out of curiosity and necessity. So, it feels weird to be the person that people come to when they need answers concerning their relationships or their mental health or their children, and then be in the reverse position when I go to the doctor. It's really made me examine my attitude toward clients and how I come across to them. I even sent out a questionnaire last week asking all my clients from 2006 to give me feedback on how they felt about the services that I offered. While my doctor is very friendly and intelligent, I sometimes feel he answers my questions too quickly or passes over some of my thoughts. Having run into doctors and therapists who don't like their clients to be well-educated, I always wonder what he thinks of the fact that I'm researching the medication he prescribes for me, and am well aware of how long my luteal phase should be, etc. I suppose I could ask him...
I think that completes my ramblings for today. I have an afternoon of nothing to do ahead of me and a candy jar full of M&M's sitting right in front of me. This is not a good combination...
posted by Heather | 10:41 AM
3 Comments:
Your last two sentences made me laugh out loud. Thanks. I, for one, am proud of you for staying on top of your health (researching what you're putting in your body) and just knowing your body. It takes a lot and most people don't do it. Kudos.
Don't be worried about yelling at God. He's big enough to take it. It's a good thing to vent at him from time to time, and who knows...it might start a good conversation with him.
As a man lay in the water after his boat was destroyed, another boat came along. "Get in", they said. But he refused, saying "I am waiting for God to rescue me." Another boat came along with the same converasation repeated. Slowly, the man unable to continue treading water, died. When he got to heaven, he ask God, "Why didn't you save me?" He replied, "I sent two boats." Old joke, but the moral remains the same. The answer may not look like what you expect. Normally I look, but do not meddle. God ask me to post this for you.
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