I had forgotten, but no longer...

I had forgotten what it was like to be busy. No longer. Busy in a moderate sense of the word is okay with me. I like having something to do with my day - preferably something I enjoy. I do not generally enjoy sitting around and doing nothing. This is a good thing, because I will no longer have nothing to do.
I haven't written in a while, and it's because of this newfound business. I ended up switching my part time jobs last week. I gave up Starbucks for a part time gig at the office where I already work. I'm playing the part of afternoon receptionist. It's really not a bad job, and I'm getting a lot more money than Starbucks, and I get to be around the people I already enjoyed working with. I just don't get free coffee anymore!
So, to catch up to today...last week I was in the Cities for a brief 24 hour visit Thursday night and Friday. I had supervision on Friday, which was very good, as usual. Saturday my inlaws came to town for the Island Park Show, which is a very large outdoor craft show in Fargo. It's pretty much the same vendors each year, but it's not bad. I went on Saturday morning (after a latte and a lemon merangue tarte at Nicole's) and purchased a little decorative pillow for my mother and a $6.00 jar of raspberry jalepeno jam. The jam I am a little disappointed with. I made that hors d'oevres dish with cream cheese and jalepeno jam that you dip crackers in the day before I was going to serve it, and when I removed it from the refrigerator, I discovered it had turned to liquid. Not appetizing...unless you're a yellow jacket wasp in the park at our picnic on Sunday afternoon.
Let's just say the dip was a hit...with the wasps.
Oh, and one stung me right underneather my left armpit! What a strange place to be stung.
Sunday was a lot of fun, but a lot of running. Church...picnic...speaking engagement...back to picnic...over to friend's house for games...to bro- and sis-in-law's house for pizza......home....bed at 10:30 (which is quite early for this little night owl). But, I learned a new game: Waterballoon Volleyball! Played with a large bathtowel and big waterballoons. You choose a partner, and several pairs are positioned strategically on each side of the volleyball net. You launch the balloons back and forth, and you lose, when you drop the balloon and you get soaked! It was great - I think it's my new favorite outdoor game.
I almost don't want to admit this...we also played kickball. Well, it had been so long since I'd played kickball that they had to remind me how to play it. Good grief!
Yesterday and today have been filled with work: office work, and clients. And, I'm currently sitting here while my 7:00 appointment fails to show up. What do you do? I tell you what I do now...I charge them for it. If they want to see me again, they have to pay a fee first. I've heard several therapists do this with very good results, so I'm next in line.
Speaking of clients, I'm getting new clients by the truckloads! Two more today, even. It's the right time of year - kids are back to school, the summer's over, life can begin again.
Also, I had quite an opportunity fall into my lap last week. A guy from the West Fargo Pioneer approached me about writing a faith based column for the paper concerning marriage and family. It all happened in the span of about 3 days - the column was written, pictures were taken, and it comes out tomorrow! It'll have my business line and web site there, too, so I anticipate more business from this little endeavor. It's an on-going gig - I'll do it for as long as I want...or until they ask me to stop!
I have jumped back on the diet bandwagon. So far, so good. I looked at my arse in the mirror yesterday morning and discovered I needed another time zone for it, so I decided it was time to get back to the plan. I'm trying to view it as a culinary challenge - how creative can I get with meals? So far I'm pretty proud of myself: my lunch the past two days has consisted off bibb lettuce leaves, sliced turkey, and shredded carrots. Not bad. If you've ever tried the Lettuce Wraps at Chili's, I'm doing a variation on a theme, so to speak. (And by the way, the Lettuce Wraps at Chili's are very, very good. )
Well, this hasn't been a very entertaining entry, but I feel better just having typed out my life for a while.

Plain

This post could be flavored plain. Or vanilla. Nothing too important to say today. Just felt like typing. I'm using my favorite keyboard. I'm at work, playing receptionist again. The keyboard up front is very user-friendly and I can type very fast on it.
I just ate half a bagel (the bottom half) toasted, with peanut butter. PB must be one of the world's most perfect foods. I love it. Husband hates it. I find this slightly amusing and slightly frustrating, because when I eat it, he can smell it on me and then he doesn't want to sit by me! Weirdo.
I discovered another wonderful drink at Starbucks: Blackberry Green Tea Frappuccino. Holy crap it's good. It's got blackberry drizzle on the top, too. Wow.
Knitting was last night. I actually didn't even feel like going. I think I'm in a knitting-rut. Right now I want to finish a scarf I started that will go with my new pea coat that is camel colored. The scarf is camel and purple. Two wonderful colors. Two colors I would like to have in my living room whenever we get new furniture.
I feel like being a lazy blob right now - it must be the afternoon blahs.
It is 3:15. I went to work this morning at 8:00 and left at noon. Then I started here at 1:30, and will be done at 5:00. Then Husband will come bring me dinner or take me somewhere to buy dinner, and then I will counsel from 6-9. Today's a long day. But that's okay. I just feel bad that I leave Husband all alone on Mondays and Tuesdays. He seems to be okay with it, however. Thank goodness for understanding husbands!
A woman came thru the drivethru this morning at Starbucks and had her two dachsunds with her. Their names were Peeka and Boo. How adorably cute.
Well, to be honest, I'm at a loss for words. I guess it's one of those days. Even though there's a lot on my mind, it all seems to be escaping me at the current time.

I'M NORMAL!!!!!

After speaking with my supervisor on the phone today, I found out that I'm normal. My friends Dana and Erin think it's funny that I have a hard time with confrontation and I'm a therapist. Well, I found out today that it's very, very common for young therapists to have a hard time with confrontation, and that it takes lots of practice to learn to have a finesse with this art form. So, I'm going to learn. I guess.

Campus Crusade for Christ, or some similar thing, does a fundraiser every year here where they truck in Colorado peaches and sell them out of the back of trucks by the case or half case. They are yummy, and my co-workers just walked in with a box. I was first introduced to the Colorado peach at the Minneapolis Farmer's Market, and have been hooked ever since.

We bought life insurance yesterday! That's exciting. If Chris dies tomorrow, I'll be rich. If I die tomorrow, Chris will be less rich than I would be if he died, basically because I make less money than Chris.

Chris and I are going to meet a couple tonight who have a marriage mentoring program in Fargo. It's something that I've wanted to get involved with for a while, or even to start one of my own. So, at least we'll find out more about what they're doing and if we can become involved. I'm suddenly finding myself getting busy again. Now that I'll be working 20 hours a week with Starbucks, and Bible Study Fellowship is starting up again in September, and I've gotten a few more clients (hopefully will get more and more if this is going to work out), and I'm starting a recovery ministry that will begin after the first of the year and will require me training the leaders over the next 3 months, and, and, and...yes, my plate is becoming full again, and I think I like that very much!

And, I think I've come to some conclusions concerning my career. As much as counseling makes me crazy, and I'd like a job that I can leave at work, I think it's best for me to continue and press on with what I'm doing. See, I realized what my priorities are, and my priorities lie with my family. When I have a baby, I don't want to work full time, and after I read my friend Darla's blog this morning, I realized that I can work harder at what I'm doing now, to make it easier to stay home half the week with a baby when that time comes.. Darla said she wishes she didn't have to work full time, and if I can have that option available to me, well, I'm going to jump at it.

Ready, set....
J
U
M
P
!!!

For the love of rhubarb...

I was digging through my freezer yesterday and I found three bags of frozen rhubarb that my mother-in-law had given me a few weeks ago.

Normally, this would be quite alright with me, because I happen to LOVE rhubarb, and was thinking about making a pie at the time. However...

I took out a bag, and looked at it. The date read: 5-27-99. So I took a picture. I'll post it when I get home. I just couldn't resist. It was petrified, literally, in ice. No good pie could be had from this mangey crop. So sad. So sad.

On to bigger topics in my life...
I start my first shift at Starbucks on Friday. I have my green apron and everything. I'm very excited about this. After I complete my barista training, I may switch stores, in order to become a "shift supervisor." Ooooooooooo. Impressive, I know. But, you know what? Dammit, I think I'm going to love it. I really do. And what is better than loving your job? Almost nothing. That's why I'm seriously considering becoming a Starbucks manager, because I don't love counseling. For those of you who know my pattern of changing my mind, please bear with me. I'm pretty serious about this one. I'm trusting God will open doors for me where he wants me to go.
If you read this, Andy, they are going to be opening several more stores in my area, so I won't have to worry about job openings. And, I'm not surprised that the openings are few and far between, because their "bennies" are awesome. They even give adoption assistance - $9,000! And, if God doesn't lead me to Starbucks, then I trust that he'll help me love the counseling gig.

It must be about 47 degrees in this office. My arm hair is standing on end. This is ridiculous.

Is it seriously only Tuesday? Man, my weeks go so slowly. Tonight Paul the investment guy is coming to our house to help us pick out life insurance and decide on a retirement plan. This is going to be great...when we have money to invest! Right now it's down right hilarious!

Well, I believe it's time to go track down the boss. I've been waiting to talk to her for over an hour! Grrr...

I'd like a grande non-fat iced vanilla latte, please!

Yes, it's true. I did it. I got a job a Starbucks. I'll be a Barista, starting next Monday. Hee hee. I think it's going to be fun, and I'm very glad to have something to do with all my spare time! Plus, I think I'll be able to have a positive impact on all the college kids who work there, and the manager, as well, who can't be more than 23 or 24! They're also opening up a couple more stores in the area soon, so, if the counseling just doesn't work out, I'll have another option down the road!

The reason I opted for Starbucks is that if I only work 20 hours each week, I can have health insurance benefits. Also, we'll save a ton of money with me not having to buy my lattes anymore! HA! I think that's hilarious!!! Plus, I'll get a pound of free coffee each week, and 30% off all the retail merchandise, including clearance. Guess what you'll be getting for Christmas this year!!!!! Hee hee..... I'm actually quite excited about this!

So, the pay is crap, but at least I'll be doing something and meeting more people, and who knows, maybe I'll even be able to drum up some business by working there?!?! Plus, it'll be great for my networking group, because I'll be able to give out their business cards all the time to customers!

So...tomorrow Kris is coming to visit me!! I'm so pumped! We're getting massages at 2:00, and we've got a ton of things on our to-do list: stop by Tochi, check out the Fantasy's store (ooh la la!), go to TJ Maxx (the best store on the planet), breakfast at Nicole's, stop by Funky Junque, and of course, I have to use my "BOGO" coupon at Maggie Moo's! Their chocolate peanut butter ice cream with Reeses PB Cups mixed in is to die for... And hey, my diet's been great this week, so I can have a treat, don't you think?!?!?!?!?!

I get to go to the chiropractor in about 40 minutes. Ahhhh...the chiropractor. I love the chiro. I love the feeling of my spine cracking. Even the sound is cool! Then I'm going to the office. Not sure what I'll do there, but since I've only had one client this week, I figure I should stop in and say hello to my fellow office mates. The bosses are on vacation this week, so I may walk into a big party!

Speaking of only one client...I was supposed to see a new couple Monday. They didn't show up. So I called them. She said, "Oh I'm so sorry. We decided to cancel, and I just didn't get around to calling you. I'm so sorry." Well, it's not technically cancelling if you don't let me KNOW ABOUT IT!!!!! Grrr. Then I had two others cancel and reschedule. Good grief. Good thing I got another job, cause I won't be bringing in much this month! ARGH!

I had been carrying around my digital camera for photo opps. Yesterday I didn't have my camera, but I had an opp. I was driving across 15th Ave, towards the new Scheel's store, and in a field was an old row boat with a guy wearing a pirate's hat in it! There were two other guys, and a camera on a tripod. I'm curious if they were filming a commercial, just taking picture, completing an assignment for school, or what. It would have made great art, though.

Well, I shall sign off for now. Have a lovely Wednesday!

Ah... weekends....

What a nice weekend...

Friday was a nice start - I got a pedicure and did some shopping...found a new suit I want from Target: it's a brown jacket and skirt, paired with a green tank that has brown stripe diagonally across it. I'm going to pull a fast one in order to purchase this, since I don't have $85 just sitting around waiting to be turned into a suit. Since my birthday is next month, I'm going to purchase the suit, knowing that my parents will give me money for my birthday that will cover the cost of the suit. Hee hee.

Saturday I did some journaling at Starbucks where I had an iced green tea latte, made with Matcha green tea powder. Love the Matcha so much, I went home and did an internet search for it, and purchased a whole bag of it for myself, so I don't have to spend $3.92 every time I want a green tea fix. Got groceries, did some more shopping (Tochi, Farmer's Market, TJ Maxx - my new favorite store), and had dinner at some friends' house where we (when I say "we", I mean "I") partook of very delicious peanut butter cupcakes that our hostess, Nicole, made. The reason I say "I" partook of the PB cupcakes is that Husband does not love PB in any way shape or form. He's weird. He'll eat Reese's Peanut Butter cups, but says he does not like chocolate or peanut butter. I do not understand this concept. I love anything *read* ANYTHING with peanut butter in or upon it.

Sunday was church, Barnes & Noble, napping, and steaks on the grill. I also made tropical couscous. It was pretty good, although the flavors didn't quite meld. Whole wheat couscous, olive oil, S & P, mango, red pepper, scallions, orange zest. It was also supposed to have cilantro in it, but the Bjur's do not like cilantro. When I say, "the Bjur's" I mean me and husband. So, it was strange, but also good. We have tons of good food to eat this week, since I went to the grocery store.

My best friend, Kris, is coming to stay with us this week. She's coming on Thursday morning, and leaving Saturday morning. We're going to knit, shop, drink coffee, sit in the sun, and probably eat a lot of chocolate. Sounds good to me! Maybe I'll take her to Maggie Moo's. Hmmm...

Then, when Kris leaves on Saturday morning, we'll be following her back to the Cities. We are killing a couple birds with one stone this weekend. The 14th is our 2nd wedding anniversary, and the 13th is Immanuel Church's 25th Anniversary Celebration Sunday. Immanuel Church is the church where Chris did his internship for grad school. It is also the church where we were married. Saturday we're going to see Body Worlds at the Minnesota Science Museum - can't wait! And we're going to stay in a hotel or B & B on Saturday night. Very much looking forward to the teeny tiny vacation. We haven't stayed in a hotel since our honeymoon! I guess we were just hotelled-out after the all-inclusive-Mexican-Resort-salmonella-giving honeymoon!

I believe it is nearly time for bed. My computer tells me it's 11:49, and husband has to get up and go to work in the morning. I have to go look for a part time job. Wish me luck!

More, please!

I want more.

Not necessarily more material things, like pencils, or toothbrushes. But more....um...well, LIFE.

I want more life. Damnit.

Damnit.
Damnit.
Damnit.

I KNOW there's more to this life than what I'm living right now, and it's pissing me off.

The funny thing is that when I try to go out and get more, it's never there. It's like life disappears when I go after it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Part of the problem is that I have to go about finding more life all by myself. Husband is too depressed and despondent to do anything more than work and sit on the couch.

I hate this.

Then, when I counsel couples on improving their relationships, I often point to the fact that if you're not happy with your spouse, you need to change yourself. My immediate thought is that I don't want to be despondent and sit on the couch all night long.

I also feel very vulnerable even stating these things, because I AM a marriage counselor, and I can't figure my own marriage out half the time. What the heck is that all about? Perspective, I suppose.

I was sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Fargo this afternoon, watching people coming in and out, and there were some that I kind of envied. For example, this one "couple" came in, on their afternoon break from work, I suspect. The guy got a Coke with a glass of ice, and the girl got a Diet Coke with a glass of ice (which was what I was drinking...fine taste she has...) and they sat down at the table next to mine and just talked for a half hour. I supposed they worked together and were friends. That was the idea I got. I don't think they were romantically involved. But, they may have been. Anyway, they had the aroma of business and success and climbing ladders, and such.

Those are things that I get hung up on when I'm in a worldly mindset. I've always been very, very career oriented, ever since junior high. And I feel like that's my biggest struggle in life, too. Anyway, I felt like they had a bit of life to them. More than myself, anyway. I imagined myself being the girl (she was also thin, toned, and cute, to boot) and if I would feel fulfilled as her. Well, of course the answer is yes, because I don't know anything about her emptiness, her struggles, her ability to get drunk every Friday night and sleep with the guy from the bar, and how she wakes up on Saturday morning hung over and feeling more empty than she did the night before. Okay, well, maybe not. But anyway, everyone's got their struggles, I know. It's just that some seem to be easier than others. Or so it seems.

We received a phone call from a guy who is an investment broker. Apparently brother-in-law and sister-in-law gave him our name after meeting with him themselves last week. I told him that we don't have a red cent to invest in anything right now, although we would like to in the future, if my god-damned job ever takes off. (Yikes! I detect a bit of frustration!) So, he's coming over to our house on Wednesday night to talk about IRA's and life insurance, and whatnot. I've done this before and really feel fairly knowledgable when it comes to these things. But, when you don't have the money to do it with, it doesn't matter how much you know. Not sure where I was going with this. But it's just another nail in the coffin of dissatisfaction, I guess. Or maybe unmet expectations are the better word.

I think I'm angry.

I have a client coming in 27 minutes.

I do my best therapy when I'm mad.

This is good.